Hey amigos, so I got this State of the University thing later today, which is sort of a big deal.  I didn’t even realize it was today until I got the Campus email about it, glad I checked! (Badass note: Afterward, me and Steve from the Provost’s office are gonna go throw down on some Ruby’s BBQ—so psyched!)

Steve had some cool ideas for my entrance. Normally I just walk out to the lectern, but after four speeches, man that gets old. We were thinking:

1. Fog Machine, then

2. Clint Black’s “Good Run of Bad Luck” plays over the PA, and then right when the solo comes in

3. Yours truly enters doing a gangster lean on a Segway.

No one will be thinking about budgetary rhetoric after an entrance like THAT.

But guys, I’m kinda freaking out over what I’m going to say—I’m supposed to do 30 minutes, and right now all I’ve got really sounds stupid. Don’t get me wrong, most of the speech is just me explaining why we’re going to win the National Championship, but the hardest part is the opening line. I was hoping, my dear, sweet Talkie fans, y’all might take a read, tell me if any of these are good for breaking the ice:

“Thanks to the Drama department for having me, looks like they keep things weird enough for all of Austin.”

“Those new buildings are sure coming along, aren’t they?”

“What is best in life? To crush OU, see the Sooners driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!”

“Man it’s hot up here, anyone got a Yerba Mate handy?”

“The State of the University is Strong!” (Then I was gonna do like Kobe and beat my chest for two minutes)

I like the last one, I think it says all I need to say. See y’all at the show!