Right now I’m stuck in my stupid mahogany office making phone calls to the newly elected representatives in the state legislature. I’m inviting them to a barbecue I’m having in the West Mall to raise money for my bake sale, which will also be in the West Mall and hopefully raise money for the University.

I figure maybe if they come to the barbecue and we hit it off we can become friends and play Halo on the weekends. Even if we don’t become best friends, maybe they’ll like my hickory smoked sausage they’ll decide to not cut the school’s budget anymore. Let’s face it, times are tough at UT and we can hardly afford the upkeep on Gregory Gymnasium and Resort as it is!

I spent the entire morning making catchy flyers for the barbecue and handing them out in the West Mall. I couldn’t believe how rude some people were. I even saw one girl take a flyer and then throw it away right next to me! That’s OK girl, you’re going to be sorry when you miss out of my famous “Powersful Baby Back Ribs.” Also, you’re no longer attending this University. I erased you from the system. Powers don’t front, baby.

Man, I reeeeeally want to go roller-skating. I haven’t been since I went with Scott Parks two months ago. He was really talented! But let’s be real, I’m no slouch myself! LOL!

Do you think anybody would notice if I skipped class tomorrow and just went roller-skating. OMG it would be just like “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!” I wonder if VP Kev would tell on me? He’s been so testy since I put a freeze on administrative raises.

OK, what the heck, I’ll do it. You’re only in college once! Don’t tell anybody!